Biggest Mistakes of Divorcing Parents

What are the biggest mistakes divorced parents make?

Lorraine Segal, M.A.

While parents are divorcing and after they are divorced, they are often overwhelmed by all the changes in their lives. They may be filled with guilt, blame, rage, or grief. Though they, of course, love their children, it may be a huge challenge to manage emotions and conflict with their ex in a way that helps their children move through the changes and feel loved and secure.

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What can parents do to help their children?

• No self neglect. They can take care of themselves so they have energy to support the kids.
• Say goodbye to their couple relationship. The relationship as a couple is over. Grieve, say goodby, and instead, focus on how to move forward together only as parents.
• Let go of grudges and resentment. It is challenging but very doable to let go of what happened in the past and focus on making the present as good as possible.
• Don’t go it alone. Conflict and forgiveness coaches can help parents work on communication skills and letting go of resentments. Support groups can give perspective that others are working on the same issues. Therapists can help with unresolved issues from your past that are intensifying the current situation. Parents deserve help, support, and skill building.

Register for Texas Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course for Divorcing Parents $34.95

Lorraine Segal is a conflict coach, trainer, and mediator specializing in transforming communication and resolving conflict for co-parents. Her business, Conflict Remedy, is based in Santa Rosa, California and she also works with clients via phone and Skype. She  teaches in the conflict resolution program at Sonoma State University.To receive her free report, “Tips to Start Co-Parenting after Divorce, visit www.ConflictRemedy.com/co-parentingwww.ConflictRemedy.com/co-parenting